#100: The System / "Don't Disturb This Groove"

Writer(s): David Frank & Mic Murphy
Year: 1987
Album: Don't Disturb This Groove

by Guy

In an episode of the mid-‘80s hit Canadian children’s television program, Today’s Special, elderly 3rd shift security guard Sam Crenshaw was asked by his co-worker, Muffy the Mouse (i.e. television’s all-time sexiest mouse), to describe where he went on a recent vacation.  He exclaimed, "I went to a hotel!"

A few years earlier, Shalamar, the hit music trio, recorded an entire music video at a hotel.  Sure, some of the initial congregating and foreplay took place at the downstairs lounge, but with the second verse, the romantic couplet of Howard Hewett and Jodie Watley soon relocated to a private room, with the on-looking bartender/3rd wheel, Jefferey Daniel, in accompaniment to provide further service/dancing.
All they needed is a side-table, a springy bed, and a few feet of dancing space in a hotel room, and they made it A Night To Remember.

Many view hotels, motels, and inns, as a necessary evil.  Sacrificing a few comforts of home – a place to sleep on your way to a faraway destination.  Sam Crenshaw, Shalamar, and The System, however, saw the hotel as the attraction… as the destination.

The day the earth stands still...

At your attraction, you rise like a bubbling synthesizer intro, right before the first beat kicks in – the Saturday morning sun hitting your face with a beam of warmth – tinkling bells in your head.  You’re in heaven.

You call roomservice for a single-serving box of fruit loops with a carton of milk, and catch a 9:00 AM episode of Alf: the Animated Series on NBC, followed by an episode of Alf Tales, but a bright blue spring sky beckons from between the vertical blinds, and unknown to you at the time, there’s a beautiful girl in the room next door.  She’s rolling in the sheets, but she’s all alone.  It’s a day of with possibilities.  You’re in another world.

"There’s lots you can do a hotel," Sam explained to Muffy...

Yep, she was cuter than Gadget and finer than Pearl Pureheart.

...as he clicked through his vacation slides.  "Here I am at the tennis court working on my serve.  Here I am relaxing by the pool with a fruity drink.  Look, I’m drinking out of a coconut, and there’s a tiny umbrella in it!"

On a mountain by a fountain...

There are six ways to go down the pool’s waterslide (listed from least to most dangerous (i.e. least to most fun)):

1. Feet-first / sitting-up.
2. Feet-first / lying on your back.
3. Feet-first / lying on your belly.
4. Head-first / lying on your belly.
5. Head-first / lying on your back.
6. Back-first / sitting up.

Sure, the instructions detailed on ascending steps warns to only try #1 & #2, but at least, in those lesser-litigious days, there was a water slide and a diving board.

It’s the girl from next door!  The smooth sounds of Double and the Miami Sound Machine are drifting from her portable Panasonic stereo system.

And perhaps, from behind her sunglasses, she’s watching your dives (listed from the least to most splashing):

1. Nail  (arms-at-sides)
2. Flathead Screwdriver  (spinning/arms-outstreched)
3. Cannonball  (fetal)
4. Can-opener  (self-explanatory)

Bright synth-blasts with every impact.

A little taste of sin?

You could risk a belly-flop.  You could risk a #6 on the slide.  You could risk saying something.  But you don’t have to speak, nor does she.  She’s an accessory.

This is not the best day of your life.  This is not a day of extremities.  This is a day of possibilities.

Were those days really that bright?

Was it another world?

Does nostalgia always paint with florescent-hued highlights?

---

It was about the year 2000. I was at a party, and Otis, one of my co-DJs at the time, was there.  He approached me and thanked me for almost causing him to have a car wreck.  According to him, the night before, he was driving, listening to my ‘80s radio show, and when this song came on, with that splendid bubbling synthezer into, his euphoria almost ran him into a traffic sign.

Otis told me that, as a child, his family would often hold impromptu after-dinner dances, and “Don’t Disturb This Groove” was a staple.  Over the years, he almost had forgotten entirely about those dance nights, but this tune brought the memories rushing back – almost too quickly.